Watching #DTWTS…The judges described Bristol Palin as the “shy girl next door”. Hee, hee, hee.
Wishing my husband Peter Chang much joy and happiness on the anniversary of his 29th birthday! I love you!!
This is slowly making its rounds through Facebook, and I enjoyed thinking about the list of authors and about the folks I wanted to “tag”. I love to read, and there have been seasons in life when reading was limited to the directions on the powdered formula can or prescription bottle for yet another antibiotic for one of the kids.
While I was putting this book together it dawned on me that though the value of and space for reading was encouraged by my parents (my first paid job where a social security number was required was as a library page – I could alphabetize a cart of books like no other), it was through teachers and friends I met some of these authors. I don’t recall my parents ever suggesting a specific book or author, which now makes me wonder what their favorite books and authors are…
So much of my book shelf real estate is taken up by books from my college years that I cannot part with – James Joyce’s Ulysses and Susan Faludi’s Backlash (sorry, the AP style guide is in a box in the basement) – and books that I have read during my years with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship – business books, Christian spirituality, biblical reference books, etc. I was staring at my books the other day wondering what, if anything, could someone learn about me by looking at my bookcases. It wouldn’t take long to figure out that I don’t like to dust books!
So here is my list and a little explanation behind the author. Please join in!
The Invitation Guidelines: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors (poets included) who’ve influenced you and will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag at least fifteen friends, including me, because I’m interested in seeing what authors my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note.)
In no particular order…
Anne Lamott – A dear friend and colleague, Greg J., gave me a copy of or suggested Lamott’s Operating Instructions. He mentioned that he wouldn’t recommend her to just any Christ-loving new mom, but he thought that I would appreciate her voice. I remember laughing out loud and crying as I read this book.
Madeleine L’Engle – My elementary school librarian recommended L’Engle’s time trilogy to me, and then took me and a few other students to hear L’Engle speak at Wheaton College. I still have my autographed Scholastic book paperbacks in the shelf in my room. Decades later Jenny L. would give me a copy of one of L’Engle’s journal series and I have since wanted to sign my checks as “Jane Austen”.
Victor Hugo – After seeing Les Miz, I wanted to read the book. It was a wonderful summer.
James Joyce – I took a class my junior or senior year in college on Joyce. I think I eeked through with a “C” after failing the midterm. Gratefully my father was also taking seminary courses at the time and had a rough time with one of his classes. But despite the “F” on my midterm, I thoroughly enjoyed the class because the professor loved his subject, knew the work and made pages and pages of run-on-sentences interesting.
God through the hands of some crazy dudes like Peter, Paul, Luke, John, etc. but this really counts as one – I have had several Bibles through the years, but the one I am most in awe of is the Living Bible I had as an elementary school student. I will never forget the first time I really met God in that book.
Jane Austen – Oh, Jane. How I wish we could have tea together…
Amy Tan – Before June and Waverley hit the silver screen (and I had a chance to preview the movie before the release), Tan’s Joy Luck Club told the stories of girls and women and of friends, mothers and daughters I could understand, relate to and knew in a way that didn’t require the kind of translation I had to do when encountering Judy Blume’s Margaret.
Shel Silverstein – The Giving Tree still chokes me up, and his poems now make me and my boys laugh out loud.
Alice Walker – Possessing the Secret of Joy and The Temple of My Familiar filled out an entirely new literary voice for me.
Stephenie Meyer – Don’t judge.
William Shakespeare – I wanted to hate Shakespeare but Ms. Johnson in high school wouldn’t let me.
Sue Monk Kidd – I don’t remember who recommended Kidd to me, but I remember crying in the airplane on the way to San Jose reading Dance of the Dissident Daughter. I was so moved and confused and blessed by that book, and changed part of a talk that I was giving the next day to include a snippet of what I had read. Women, you are created in God’s image and He sees us as very good.
Toni Morrison – Her writing haunts me like no other. I don’t know what it is…
Alex Kotlowitz – The beginnings of my wrestling with the injustice in our immediate present happened in a new way for me after reading There Are No Children Here and then having the opportunity to hear him at my alma mater.
Elie Wiesel – How can such a short book cover so much?
Who are some of the authors who have left a mark on you?
Me 😉
OK. That was awkward.
Why? Because that’s bragging, and the only bragging I grew up with was hearing my parents brag about other kids and hearing other parents brag about someone else’s kids. There is no “us” or “we” or “honoring the family” in self-promotion. Even when I’ve thought I toned it down by talking about God’s call on my life and my ministry when years and years ago I was asked to share about my job with InterVarsity I was told by a church leader that he was surprised and disappointed in me for only caring about myself.
The message has been to wait for someone else to promote me if that person, who is more credible, respectable, connected, etc. chooses to do so. Is it fair? That used to be the rhetorical question.
For me it’s not about fairness anymore because I get too emotionally hooked right there. I want to move the conversation to understanding leadership. Leaders, and I count myself in that broad category, need to have a level of self-awareness – our strengths, our weaknesses, our blind spots, our junk, our humanity, our passions. You get the picture. That also means understanding our influence. I am still learning, but in the meantime I have been blessed by advocates who understood and did not shy away from relational, influential leadership as a way to bring diverse, new voices into the fold, mine included, even when those voices aren’t proven on the big stage.
So I was recently asked by web strategist DJ Chuang if I’d be willing to start a list of Christian Asian American female leaders who would be great resources for other leaders, churches, conferences and organizations who are sincerely and actively looking for what I would call “new to them” voices and leaders for conferences, strategy meetings, etc. Because I can’t be the only one who is tired of hearing “we didn’t know who else to invite/ask/promote”.
Just for starters…
- Jeanette Yep
- Donna Dong
- Young Lee Hertig
- Melanie Mar Chow
- Nancy Sugikawa
- Nikki Toyama-Szeto
- Kathy Khang
- Hyepin Im
- Laura Cheifetz
- Helen Lee
- Christine Lee
- Asifa Dean
- Christie Heller De Leon
- Tracey Gee
- Ella DeCastro Baron
This is not an exhaustive list. I need your help. It’s pretty clear to me where some of my blind spots and limited networks are. Who would you add? If you’re not sure, who do you know who might know? Step up. Speak up. Advocate and lead, my friends. This certainly needs to be a longer list…and I’ll add links in between “Mommmy?” requests from my homefront.
I don’t claim to be an incredible cook or a foodie. I like to cook, and I try to cook as often as I can. The other day Bethany and I finally whipped up a spinach-artichoke dip using GH’s recipe. Yuuuummmmyyy. I added some parmesan cheese and upped the garlic, btw.
But what I really love are super easy recipes for yummy food to enjoy and make for my friends and family. I’m starting with brunch because sometimes I can’t decide between breakfast and lunch – sweet and savory. And I just hosted a brunch for a lovely group of friends and it was a lovely way to “build community,” as one of my friends would later say, from morning to afternoon and talk about books, marriage, children, gardening and goals.
We have no food allergies in this home, thank goodness! But, I don’t own a stand mixer or food processor. I know. You’re surprised because apparently I look like someone who would own those two kitchen appliances. Well, I registered for them when I got married, but no luck. Breadmakers were really big in the early 90s so my friends chipped in for one of those and a full set of everyday dishes for eight. (I still break out the breadmaker every now and then, and I still use those everyday dishes every day!) So, no recipes that require a stand mixer or food processor.
Remember. The easier and yummier the better. Links are fine. Ready? Set? Brunch.
What do you think?
Will race matter in the year 2042 – the long-forecast end of the United States as a white-majority culture? What will happen to “multiethnicity”, “multiculturalism”, and “race”? How will things change, or will they, in the next three decades?
The Visions 2042 Project is inviting people to think ahead, dream ahead, imagine ahead and then write 1,000 – 2,000 words. Details are all on the link folks, so click, imagine, write and submit.
This project is sponsored by the Kirwan Institute for the Study of Race and Ethnicity at The Ohio State University.
I’m heading down to St. Louis, MO for a day at InterVarsity’s Urbana 09 Student Missions Conference to lead a seminar on Asian American Women in Leadership and to be on a panel discussing “Following Jesus Without Dishonoring Your Parents”.
If you’re at Urbana 09, come to the Millenium Hotel, Missouri/Illinois room at 2 p.m. to learn about leadership and then at 4 p.m. to learn about following Jesus!
On Wednesday afternoon, Nov. 4th, several folks gathered on a phone call to talk about the various postings related to the Deadly Viper’s book. The people in the conversation were Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite (Authors), Chris Heuertz (Director, Word Made Flesh), Soong-Chan Rah (Prof., North Park), Kathy Khang (InterVarsity Regional Multi-Ethnic Ministries Director), and Eugene Cho (Pastor, Quest Church). The conversation was facilitated by Nikki Toyama-Szeto (Urbana 09 Program Director).
Various people in the conversation share their reflections on that conversation below:
Kathy Khang writes: The conversation didn’t begin until our moderator, Nikki Toyama-Szeto, introduced the individuals at our virtual table and then lead us in prayer. The very act of praying and acknowledging our common need for and desire to seek after God, and hearing Nikki’s voice invite us to the conversation and into God’s presence, reminded me that leadership does not always look, sound or feel the way or come from the places we expect it to. Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite did not expect our voices, our concerns or our leadership when this started with a Facebook status and blog post, but now here we were on a conference call. What I heard were the voices of leaders all committing to begin a conversation that took energy, passion and a common agenda of seeking to start the process of reconciliation. For me, Eugene Cho and Soong-Chan Rah, the conversation is not a new one. But before I could even begin to answer questions about next steps and reconciliation and share even more about our concerns I knew I needed to hear something from both Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite. I needed to hear an apology with no if, ands or buts. I heard what I believe many of us wanted and hoped to hear: “We’re sorry. We didn’t know. We want to learn. How do we do that?” And then Mike and Jud listened. We start right there, and we hope to continue.
——————–
We, Mike Foster and Jud Wilhite, started a positive conversation with members of the Christian Asian-American community today who have been part of the blog discussion about Deadly Viper and Asian culture. We’ve waited to comment on the situation until now not because we weren’t listening, but because we hoped for a better understanding and for a conversation. Much can be misconstrued in a blog post. We are learning a lot. For one, we deeply offended some members of the Asian-American community who feel like we hijacked their culture for our purposes. We sincerely apologize for this and want to take steps to listen and respond to concerns. We will be removing a video and some content immediately and we’ll talk with our Asian friends to make sure our community embraces all peoples. We are on a learning journey here. Please have grace with us. This was never done intentionally or with any malicious forethought. We each have many Asian friends, some of whom have been part of the Deadly Viper community. We’ve also made some new friends who have shown us kindness. We desire to honor Asian culture and those friendships. We prefer to have these conversations in ways that have more potential to generate light than heat. In that regard, we’ll continue to have conversations about this topic offline, continue to learn and continue to grow.
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Soong-Chan Rah writes:
This afternoon I was part of a conversation with the authors of Deadly Viper (and Chris Huertz) and a number of Asian-American leaders. I am thankful that we were able to engage in a direct conversation over what has become a highly charged issue.
I am thankful for the authors’ genuine remorse for the ways that many in the Body of Christ were wounded. The telephone conversation should pave the way for further dialogue and ways to remedy what has been a source of great pain to many, but specifically to the Asian-American community.
I know that the authors have already taken steps by removing offensive material. This action was taken with great sincerity and with a desire to move the process forward. I believe we have taken a very significant step in dealing with a serious issue and believe in the sincerity of the authors to move further along the process of understanding and reconciliation. I ask that they continue along that journey, as difficult as that path might be.
On a very central level, we are brothers and sisters in Christ seeking to understand each other. There are many potential places of misunderstanding in the Body of Christ, but we are united by one Savior and we are part of one Church. Thanks to our brothers who were willing to hear the pain borne by others. Thanks for your commitment to continue on this journey.
A few nights ago I was minding my own business in the 30% clearance aisle at Target and found the perfect Halloween costume for Peter. It was a Ghostbusters jumpsuit. Before you start singing the theme song I have to explain that the plan is to cover the Ghostbusters logo with a pocket and a nametag that says “WORKMAN” on it (any “LOST” fans out there?). I bought the costume, and thought I would surprise Peter by stopping by the bowling alley on my way home.
I know. It’s league night. What was I thinking? I was thinking he and his other LOST fan bowling buddy were going to love the costume.
Peter did love it (other LOST fan bowling buddy was not there), asked where in the world did I find it, and then we shared a quick laugh, hug and kiss.
I turned around to leave when I heard someone say, “Hey, whatcha got there? A french maid costume?”
I don’t have a lot of patience for stupid people, but I was so caught off guard. I looked around and saw a couple of large men sitting with a couple of empty-calorie beers looking rather amused, chuckling over the french maid comment. I looked around for Peter, who by then was an alley away and out of earshot.
A few snarky comments came to mind, but nothing came out of my mouth. I felt unexpectedly vulnerable and threatened. I realize now that the comment and the look on their faces reminded me of the ER doctor who examined my swollen arm almost 19 years ago.
That doctor looked at me and asked, “What did you do to make your boyfriend so angry at you?”
It was league night at the bowling alley. What was I thinking?
When I got back into the car all I could think about was these physically grown men saying something I would hope they would not want said in the way it was said to their mothers, sisters, daughters. Or, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe they wouldn’t care?
Should I have stopped a moment longer, composed myself and said something in response? What would that have accomplished? But did my silence only give permission for such stupid, offensive, demeaning behavior?
Part of me in angry with myself. I am learning that as a strong communicator, I will choose my words and tone in order to be more effective. The edge in my voice does not invite conversation if I know people perceive it to be threatening. I don’t see that as not being authentic. I see that as self-awareness & maturity.
However, ” don’t say anything if you can’t say something nice” and “do unto others” don’t always dovetail neatly into my actions because there in the bowling alley I saw my enemies and my brothers – fathers of the kids at school, neighbors, colleagues, strangers. As a parent I ask God every day for wisdom as I watch my daughter and sons grow up, hopefully, into an amazing woman and men. That takes wise words, correction, encouragement.
So where have we all gone wrong that men would say such stupid things? Stupid is as stupid does is so dissatisfying. Boys will be boys is even more dissatisfying. How can we better put stupid and offensive in its place?
We’re just a few weeks away from Thanksgiving. It is the one time each year I bust out the wedding china and wish I had a double oven. We go all out with everything from scratch except for the dishes at our table I’m sure weren’t included at the first Thanksgiving.
Our family has been known to enjoy sashimi, kimchee, rice, spicy tofu, chapchae, bulgogi, kalbi and other yummy Korean or Asian-inspired dishes alongside roasted turkey with all the fixings. Fork, knife, spoon and chopsticks.
So what does your Thanksgiving table look like, smell like, taste like? And feel free to share recipes if you’re game! I’m kind of in a rut with the usual sweet potatoes, dressing and cheezy broccoli casserole.