Today my husband & I mark 19 years of marriage or 6941 days of choosing to say, “I do.”
Over the years whenever I have the ear of an excited bride- or groom-to-be I tell them to invest as much time into preparing for the marriage as they do for the wedding because with each day of marriage I have been reminded of how much grace, patience, faith, hope and love is required to make a marriage flourish.
And I don’t see any registries, wedding themes, or event planners offering those things. In fact, the very ‘things’ Peter and I stressed over, registered for, planned for or paid for captured, at most, a static snapshot of a day.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for our wedding photos (though I don’t know if I can say the same for our wedding video) and for the gifts the 1,000 guests at our big, fat Korean American wedding gave.
But as Peter and I get ready to celebrate our wedding anniversary, I can’t overlook the more difficult days when I had to learn over and over again that the wedding was over but the marriage would require daily recommitments.
It was easy to throw a party at the beginning.
So here’s to saying, “I’m sorry” and knowing what I am sorry for. To asking for forgiveness and extending it generously. To saying, “I love you” when it was a choice. To recognizing when we needed help and getting it. To learning about bowling, movies, dentures, coffee makers, memoirs, composting and jewelry even when it wasn’t our thing. To encouraging each other to chase a dream or two. To learning some lessons faster than others and being grateful we haven’t yet given up learning the more difficult ones.
Today I again say, “I do.”
Thanks Kathy. This is really encouraging. Not quite six months in but I hope to be at least something like this 18 1/2 years from now. 🙂
Hm. I hope I’m alive and sharp enough to read and appreciate a blog post about your 19th 18 1/2 years from now, friend!
Congratulations! My 20th is coming up in June – hard to imagine that so many years have already passed. I’m so glad that our vows ‘took’ – the wedding, as you say, is so small a part of what is to come, after all.
Early congratulations on your 20th! It really is crazy to think that much time flew by!
I still feel as though we are the ‘young couple’ in church, although apparently that ended long ago. No one told me…